David Hume (1711-1776)

David Hume ate a swinging great dinner,
And grew every day fatter and fatter;
And yet the huge bulk of a sinner
Said there was neither spirit or matter.
    J. H. Beattie

David, who there supinely designs to lie,
The fattest hog in Epicurus' sty,
Though drunk with Gallic wine and Gallic praise,
David shall bless Old England's halcyon days.
    --William Mason, "An Heroic Epistle to
    Sir William Chambers"

Cried the maid: "You must marry me, Hume!"
A statement that made David fume.
    He said: "In cause and effect,
    There is a defect;
That it's mine you can only assume."
    P. W. R. Foot

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