Immanuel Kant (1724-1804)

The famous philosopher, Kant
Said: "Why, when I run, do I pant?
    I fear 'twould be treason
    To my Critique of Reason
To think I'm unfit, so I shan't."
    —C. S. Cook

An example of Kant's sterling wit
Was his theory that farts could be lit,
    And it's said that all night
    By the flickering light,
He composed his "Critique of Pure Shit".
    —Victor Gray

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